Monday, May 22, 2006

Can we all walk away from the "beast" AKA Infidelity?

Here is a huge confession...Apart from the current relationship I am in, I have never been fully faithful to my past partners. For whatever reason, either they have suspected I was cheating or vice versa and the infidelity has occurred. I remember when I was committing the act of deceit that I somehow validated it to make it ok. I decided to have a break from relationships to do the single thing for a while. During this time I decided that I was ready for a relationship, but I had also decided that this time I would do it differently. Some may say I just matured or perhaps the fact that I believe I'd found the LOML (love of my life) has contributed to my monogamous state?

I've been with the LOML for over two years without straying. I reckon we can all walk away from the beast when it pops up, its a self confidence issue. I'm not here to preach, I'm not religious, I'm not here to toot my horn or get on a high horse but the way I've managed to control the beast (infidelity) is fairly simple. For goodness sake, If I can do it we all can at least try. ..That goes for you ladies too, I have a lot of straight girlfriends that confess all sorts of things to me and I know a lot of them are currently in relationships and a lot of them have cheated on their fellas as well.

Here's a simple statement of fact, it's harder to be monogamous than to cheat...It's as simple as that! Whether you are straight, gay or bi, this simple fact remains. Seriously, we all know sex is that easy to come by nowdays, but what's more rare and something to be proud of is the ability to honestly state that you are completely monogamous to your partner.

I am very proud of the fact that I have been able to remain so for over two year and plan on continuing. I'm no saint, by any stretch of the imagination. Shit, I'm tempted all the time but I employ a really simplistic strategy. I just don't allow myself to be in a situation where I could slip. For example, if I am getting the eye from someone I find attractive I do not return the look. For me, I know enjoy a good flirt as much as the next person, however, I know how quickly an innocent flirt can go from a giggle to something completely out of control in a matter of minutes (you've all have been there!)...Its just not worth the risk. Another example, if someone tries to come onto me, I put it out there straight away that I have a boyfriend so there is no question that I am taken. We all know this maneuver isn't always respected by the other party and this is where I walk away immediately from the situation...Its just not worth the risk, yes I don't trust myself!

Obviously people stray in relationships for all sorts of reasons, very rarely is it ever just one reason either, its usually a host of different issues/reason/situations, etc. I highly recommend to anyone reading this that knows they are with someone they respect, love and believe in to try to walk away from the beast. Its never too late to start fresh. It really breaks your heart the first time you walk away from the beast because the immediate thought is "damn, I can't believe I just denied myself..." However it soon becomes more empowering the more times you do it. For me it means that I have come to value what I have more.

So what if your being completely faithful but you suspect your other half may be creeping on you? The thing is this, you can only control your own actions. Be true to yourself and the way you contribute to the relationship, if it turns out your other half has been creeping around on you and the truth comes out you only have to deal with your own conscience and so do they.

Have a go, try to walk away for the first time, you may be missing potentially the hottest shag, root, lay, bonk (however you describe it in your country) of your life but so what...its just a shag in the end!

Here's the thing, if you and your partner try and are unable to walk away from the beast then communicate openly to decide a way forward. In todays world relationships are not a one-size-fits-all package anymore. Communicate and work out a way together with both parties agreeing openly.

All feedback encouraged...


At 3:12 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Buddy, what planet are you on?

What's with the head-shot? You got a Ned Kelly fetish or something?

The LOYL who you keep mentioning must be one hell of a stud-muffin.

But that's enough about you (and him).

Tell me more about these hot little minxes who are not into being one-prick princesses.

Where can I meet 'em? I feel just like Mark Gasnier.

At 9:42 pm, Blogger Me said...

Keep passing on the good word brah. Everyone's got their demons. Only a few have found their angels.

At 4:23 am, Blogger eMilyism said...

hi rod, thanks for your comment on my blog.
And you know what? your post is an eye-opener. True that staying faithful is even harder than going ashtray. So what if you missed a shag, it's better to stay away than to flirt back. Damn...every word hits the right spot in my mind.

however, i do think that it's easier to walk away from a potential casual one night stand than to walk away from a co-worker, where given the situation, you start to know each other as friends and you find yourself falling in love with him/her.

Somehow i'm in a weird situation at the moment. My boyfriend and i have been together for so long. Right down from our teenage years to our adulthood. And at this moment, it's not sex that he wants from the third party but a relationship.

Maybe we both should write a post on this situation and compare notes?

Here waiting to read your thoughts :)

At 11:27 am, Blogger dRod said...


Great idea! Lets both write a post in our respective Blogs about "Infidelity & the work place...the do's, dont's and possible outcomes".

At 10:03 pm, Blogger karmawendy said...

I love your website. I know I seem on mine to be the perp but really I'm the wife trying to work thru some demons after being cheated on. All of your entries are right on. Maybe I'll set up a real blog about myself! I'll keep reading....


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